jackoffski

i must admit... i forgot i had one of these things

whats new...whats new...???

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!... it kinda licked balls though, im sick... something with my tonsils and im on these horrible antibiotics which are killing me slowly with their unruly side effects blaaahhh. i couldnt eat solid food for a few days because my throat was so swollen but i managed to get some iced cream cake down today.

i got a tattoo last week, three stars on my upper back... big one in the middle, two smaller ones on the sides with their side points connected, i like it. my sister is suppose to get the same one and so is my mom but i think my mom's backing out. it's pretty much all healed but i think i need to get some touch ups on the shading around the edges.

my spring brake sucked.... ive spent the past three or so weeks being some kind of sick, missed 4 days of school before spring brake, didnt have a good st.patty's day because of it, then my right gland started swelling over the course of a week.. and that lead to my tonsil thing... lame.

uuhhh... still going to school, one class a day, i work 4 days a week... im going to see my sister in victoria this friday for her birthday... going to par-tay down this weekend... unfortunately sober (i dont think you can by definition "par-tay down" with out being some kind of intoxicated so im stretching the truth a bit) because of the sickness

and thats about it...

oh yeah, and brady may be gone for a couple weeks in victoria working because he got into the laborer's union, so he better make some cash and buy me something nice haha

i hate this, i fucking hate this

i feel like i have no one to talk to, i tried to get ahold of some people, and they are unavailable, which is fine, but i just feel alone. the don moving in to my house thing isnt going well. him coming in and making changes to things is just digging up all of these feelings i have made non-existant for quite some time now and i feel like im acting like a child. i think in a way its because when all of these feelings were being created, i was a child. when my parents split up i put on a strong face and tried to tough it out. i dont remember 2 and a half months of when i was 12. i remember looking at the calender seeing an appointment made for september 20th that said "marraige councellor" and i jokingly said to my parents "what are you guys gonna do, split up?" and they replied with a maybe. after that, i remember telling my friend kaitlyn at school, getting upset and then bam.. next memory two and a half months later, i was moving out of my house i grew up in, packing the clothes i had set aside while balling my eyes out to go spend a couple weeks at my dads. i dont even remeber my parents telling me that they were officially splitting up or when my dad moved out. so i was upset tonight because don had said something along the lines of im not allowed to use my mom computer upstairs becasue its upstairs and apparently im not allowed to go up there any more because thats "their space"... it was so little and stupid.. and he kept on kind of poking at it which made me upset.. i walked away so i wouldnt have to deal with it but my mom followed me. i didnt want to talk about it, i was uncontrollably crying, the kind where you can barely breathe. and we talked about the stuff that was bothering me or whatever, and then she went and talked to him, and i was sitting on the couch and he comes down stairs and starts putting on his shoes. i asked him where he was going and he turns around and starts saying how he was trying to be nice to me and stuff.. so now i feel like shit because i know my moms upset and i feel like its all my fault and i should have just kept my mouth shut and then none of this would have happened. im being so stupid i cant even believe myself. fuck

soooo... friday was cool... jon picked me up from school and we went grocery shopping and made a cake mmmm and then we played monopoly with brady and DREW! because hes back in canada after being in central america for 3 months. it was fun.. then the night got lame but what can you do (not because of jon and drew).
aannnnd then i went to work on saturday.. was late.. it sucked. i set my alarm and then i wanted to sleep for a little bit longer, brady said he would wake me up (because he was already awake).. we BOTH fell back asleep and i woke up at 10:38.. had to be at work at 11:00 and it takes about 20 minutes to walk there, so i got up and got ready really fast and practically ran to work. i was surprised when more than one person said that i looked nice that day.. considering the 30 second make up job and the...you know.. hopping around trying to put on your pants while brushing your teeth and trying to find a shirt on your floor that doesnt look dirty, all at the same time, yeah it was a good time.. not.
after work went to cats and hung out with just her and donnie which hasnt happened in a long time. i created a wii version of myself haha... and played virtual bowling.. i suck, i had fun. borrowed some movies, went home, watched SAW III meh, it was okay. cleaned up room.. made house spotless went to bed at 4:00am..... havent done that in a while.
woke up to the phone ringing constantly... didnt bother to answer it and then later my mom storming in to my room yelling about how she had been calling all morning heh heh..
and today is the big day.. the big.. mother fucking day...
Don (calls himself "chubby cabanna boy") is moving in, for those of you who havent encountered him, hes my moms boyfriend?... i added the question mark because they have been off and on so many times i dont even know any more.. i guess they got back together in like a day, and friday morning my mom casually mentions how hes moving in.. i was like.... wwhhhhaaattt, keep in mind 3 days earlier she had said that she wouldnt move in with any body until we sell this house and i move out, 3 days!.. well woopdy fuckin doo... i guess her word goes a long way. so yeah i assumed maybe in like a couple months... nope.. 2 days after she tells me... hes moving in. and i cant afford to move out. shit damn.
this is going to be interesting for lack of better words... i miss my jesse, i had a bunch of fucked up dreams last night.. like really random, and jesse had come home in one of them and i was really happy... but then something really weird happened and i realized it was a dream....

this is the picture i talked about in the previous post

today was the last day of first semester, i wrote two tests i was missing in my socials class and handed in my art project. and then i left for lunch with my mom and a family friend. i am so glad my art project is finally done, i have never put this much thought and time in to any thing i have done, i was thinking about it today and i figure i put in at least 300 hours, pfew. its a big leafless tree with its roots wrapped around a big orange with big bright green leaves in the forground and the back ground is blue and black, i am happy with the final product but am so relieved that im finished. and its in pencil crayon, if any one has ever done a piece in pencil crayon, you understand why it took me so long and my pain... so many layers.... i was close to ripping it up a few times in the process of doing it. (i got the inspiration for this picture from an orange sharpie i found on the floor at school :D)
i am now looking forward to the new semester. im going to be doing half days, one block with schweeres (im so excited he is the best english teacher in the world), and one block of more self directed art woooooo, after that im done high school fuck yeah! im eating better and have been working out and im feeling good about it.. and its sunny! so im in a pretty good head space at the moment and im glad to be here.

MY MOM FINALLY CAVED!

she came home from being at her friends house on saturday and her friend had suggested geting a cat to help the mouse problem and she agreed! my mom and i went to pet cetera yesterday (because they get their cats from the SPCA) and as soon as we walked in to the adoption room she pointed at the cat in the top left cage and said "i want that one". it resembles toby, my old cat. we had him for 14 and a half years but unfortuneately develpoed cancer and had to be put down in november. this cat is a long haired tabby like toby was and she has huge eyes and no white on her, shes all black, brown, grey and cream and shes so pretty and friendly. we decied on the name Cambie, my mom suggested it becasue she was found down town, and shes not from here, they dont event think shes from the island because of the tattoo in her ear. yay im so happy, i love her, she follows me around the house every where. and she has an awesome personality for a cat, so full of curiosity and life. wooot, and i bought her a leopard print little bed thing and leopard print noisy ball things with feathers on them and a cat nip mouse and cat nip and treats. anyways thats enough rambling about the cat.. im just really excited.

the weekend was good, i was planning on doing home work... but that didnt happen. on friday i went over to jons place, (he lives like a 3 minute walk form my house now its awesome)and we ate fried rice and sat on his floor looking at clothes and thinking about alterations, then i made my way over to bradys and we went over to cats house. hung out there with the crew that had assembled in cats room, it was fun as always and it was good seeing ryan back home.
saturday was spent with brady, aeron, and darren at their place. we poked smot and spent the majority of the time rolling on the floor crying because we were laughing so hard.. it hurt. the theme of the night seemed to be "you got diiiiiiinnnnccchhhtttt!", but i have a hunch that will be the theme of many nights to come (you will understand one day if you dont already)


I GOT A KITTY!

and now i must leave and do home work.. i am so fuckign behind it is not even funny woo end of the semester

Leave your name and:

1. I'll respond with something random about you:
2. I'll challenge you to try something:
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you:
4. I'll tell you something I like about you:
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you:
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of:
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you:
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your own blog

and to add... there is a fucking mouse in my room right now!.. i was just chillin on the couch... and i saw something out of the corner of my eye scurry by and hide behind this big case containing my sister's massage table in the hallway, and i was like.. holy shit... that was either the biggest spider in nanaimo.. or... a mouse... so i go over slowly and shut my door so there is no where for the creature to go..and i move the case and bam.. i tiney little dark grey mouse runs out from underneath it and squeezes in to a hole about the size of a square cenemetre between my door and the doorframe /floor. so i just start jumping around going oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god(i am by myself haha) and then i proceeded to go in to my room where i could hear it moving around behind my computer.. so i put some rodent killer on either side of the entrences to behind my computer.. and then i couldnt hear any thing moving any more for a while.. so i assumed it went back in to what ever hole it came out of leading to the basement. and now.... i can hear it on the other side of my room.. fuck!.. i think its in behind my built in closet thing because i keep moving shit around in my closet and i cant see anything.... but fuuuuck theres a mouse in my room!... i blame the dumb ass people who lived here before me who were running a grow show.. they fucking drilled holes every where to run wires through all the rooms... this make me miss my kitty even more than i already do :(

YEAR-END SURVEY

1.) Where did you ring in 2006?
the A&W drive thru down town

2.) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
with brady

3.) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
yes all year.. well except for summer actually... i dont go to school much

4.) How did you earn your keep?
job at lilas speciaty bake shop in the summer.. quit.. worked at demetres coffee vault still work there kind of, and worked at armanis recently being the dish bitch only temporarily though

5.) Did you end up in the hospital?
no

6.) Have you encountered the police this year?
of course jesse and i talk to the bike cops all the time

7.) Where did you go on vacation?
the water front?

8.) What did you purchase that was over $500?
every bodys christmas presents?... well way over 500$

9.) Did you know anybody who got married?
nope

10.) Did you know anybody who passed away?
yes

11.) Have you run into anybody you graduated high school with?
...... havent graduated.. only 6 more months of half days

12.) Did you move anywhere?
from haliburton to nicol hahhahha... shabby...the houses are roughly 408 steps from eachother (i get bored some times)

13.) What sporting events did you go to?
haha riiight

14.) What concerts did you go to?
warped tour i guess i dont think you would consider seeing the ripcordz a "concert"

15.) Are you registered to vote?
will be this year

16.)What was your favorite memory of the summer?
the last drunk no. 2

17.) Where do you live now?
Nanaimo

18.) What did you do on your birthday?
ate dinner at jesses went down town drank wine... it was cold

19.) What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
went to a rave hahahahahhaah

20.) What is one thing you regretted this year?
going to a rave

21.) What's something you learned about yourself?
i dont like raves

22.) Any new additions to your family?
uuhhh if you consider jeff a "new addition" jeff and my sister will be married in 2008 :)

23.) What was your best month?
i have no idea

24.) What from popular culture will you remember 2006 by?
the ipod?... it seemed to take over this year

25.) What was your 2006 motto?
haha "i dont really smoke pot any more" its not really a motto.. but soethin i said often

26.) How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (worst) to 10 (best)?
id say about a 7, it wasnt the best year in the world but it wasnt bad by any means hopeing next year will be better though

so apparently i have a stalker now?...... yeeesssss

hopefully every one had a good christmas i know i did.... got wasted at the smith residence, had loads of fun, had money to spend, made people smile, i received some awesome gifts, and had an all around good time. but the holiday isnt even close to being over yet yaaaay...




p.s. *is curious of who the mysterious stalker is*

Dear Jackie,

I _____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______.

You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________.

If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just

for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.


Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)

its about fucking time i got myself one of these